The
gun is pointing at me. My eyes fly from the gun to his cold, piercing
ones. I start to cry, shivering and shaking uncontrollably. Despite
everything, I didn’t think he would kill me. But then, I realise
I don’t know what I thought he was going to do.
His next actions surprise me. The coldness is gone, replaced by
that softness, that gentleness and kindness. Now, it is he who is
crying, shivering and shaking as if he will never stop. The gun
falls to the floor. My eyes follow it. It’s a toy. A little
boy’s toy.
I think about running to the door and yanking it open. To freedom.
The police will be waiting. They’ll usher me to safety and
then they’ll get him. But they don’t know it’s
a toy gun. Perhaps they will be armed. Maybe he’ll run and
they’ll take him down.
‘What’s your name?’ I have to know.
‘Kevin. I just wanted to marry you,’ he says.
‘I know. But you’re right. It is Daniel, the head librarian.
I’ve been in love with him for as long as I can remember.
He doesn’t love me, but I can’t stop loving him. I’m
sorry,’ I say.
‘I’ve
been in love with you for as long as I can remember. You don’t
love me, but I can’t stop loving you,’ he whispers.
I lean forward, hardly able to hear him.
‘Go,’ he says, nodding towards the door.
I look at him. I’ll tell the police it’s a toy, that
they mustn’t hurt him and that he didn’t mean it.
|
‘I’m
sorry,’ he says.
I place my hand on his arm. I move on and open the door, the tears
streaming down my face. I do everything I promised myself, but it
won’t make any difference. I can hear them slamming him to
the floor, hear them reading him his rights and slapping the handcuffs
on him.
It seems to take forever to get to the main door.
‘Your boyfriend is waiting for you. He’s been pacing
up and down the whole time. I’d keep hold of that one if I
were you,’ a policewoman says, holding the door open for me.
‘I haven’t got a boyfriend,’ I say.
‘Well, someone’s very much in love with you,’
she says.
Then I see him. Daniel. He is striding up and down, clenching his
fists. He stops, puts one fist into his mouth and bites down onto
it. It drops to his side and he starts to stride up and down again.
He stops and turns towards me. He looks at me longingly. Why hasn’t
he done that before? Perhaps he has. Maybe he thought I was the
one who barely knew he was there. Why didn’t he ask me to
dance? Perhaps he thought I would reject him.
Suddenly he is running towards me. His arms wrap round me, holding
me close, his breath soft on my ear. I hope he never lets me go.
I see Kevin being bundled into the police car. But it isn’t
the man I see. I see that boy at the back. I look harder. I can’t
see that little girl anymore. She’s gone, but the little boy
will always be there. |
