| LIFE IS WHAT YOU MAKE IT
By Allison Symes
‘For goodness sake, put your newspaper down and just listen to me
for once in your life,’ said Barbara.
The paper rustled. Barbara snatched it away only to get a pained look.
She threw the paper behind her.
‘Darling…’
‘Don’t darling me. I’ve tried getting through to you
all morning. What planet are you on, Marc? The Times isn’t that
engrossing. You haven’t turned a page for twenty minutes.’
‘I’m reading the adverts, darling.’
Barbara stepped back and looked at Marc as if he was a new life form.
‘You read the adverts?’
‘Yes, darling. You get all human life there. They’re a fascinating
study.’
‘I wouldn’t know. Someone in this house keeps the papers to
himself. I know you hate leaving that chair before bedtime, but go and
look out of the window and then say there’s nothing odd about this
place. I’ve said there are funny people here. Now I’ve got
proof. Look by the bus stop.’
Reluctantly Marc left his leather recliner and went to the bay window.
Lifting the nets, he peered out. ‘There’s old Mr Jackson.
He’ll be moaning at his neighbour about the smashed bus stop again…’
‘And…?’
‘And nothing. What did you think you saw?’
‘I didn’t think it, Marc. I saw an alien.’
Marc laughed. ‘What did I say about not watching those sci-fi films
so late?’
Barbara joined her husband and pointed to their right. ‘Behind Mr
Jackson, you must see it. The green blob with legs, two heads, two you’ll
note, not common round here, you must’ve spotted we usually run
to just the one, and a big mouth. Nor am I impressed by those fangs.’
‘Darling, there is nothing like that out there.’
‘But…’
Marc gently swung his wife round to face him. ‘Darling, you’ve
been overdoing it. You must relax more.’
***
‘I’ll get the papers, darling,’ Marc called at 7.30
next morning, jumping off the last two stairs as he did when Barbara was
out of sight. ‘I won’t be long.’
‘Pick up milk and teabags, would you? Mother might pop in later.
You know what she is for tea.’ Barbara called from their bedroom.
‘Very well,’ Marc swore under his breath as he slung his jacket
on, checked he had his wallet and left. If he could prevent a mother-in-law
visit, he would. Grace had never liked him because he resisted her interrogations.
Maybe her parents wished desperately when they named her, selecting their
desired characteristic. It was a shame they hadn’t wished hard enough.
And the incessant tea drinking worried Marc. It was a sign of being taken
over by something… the tea. Marc strode to the smashed bus stop
where he scowled on finding what he sought.
***
‘Yes, I’m new but I was told to watch you,’ the green
blob looked defiant. ‘You’ve not filed reports.’
‘I was told to make a new life on earth. That takes time.’
‘You’ve been here five years. You weren’t supposed to
mate with the locals either. That kind of thing gives aliens a bad name.’
Marc grinned. Barbara was saddled with a harridan of a mother but the
girl’s luscious hourglass figure, long brunette hair, beautiful
blue eyes and almost insatiable appetite for sex compensated. Her fussiness
extended to pleasing him in the bedroom. It easily made up for that characteristic
being irritating elsewhere. ‘I never expected to fall in love. Barbara
is special.’
The green blob grinned. ‘So we’ve heard. You are taking precautions?
The last thing we need is something that only looks human running about,
except you and we know about you.’
‘It’s a bit late for the warning. It would’ve been noticed
if Barbara and I had kids.’
‘She hasn’t wanted them?’
‘She’s afraid they’ll turn out like her mother. And
the bosses say human fears are irrational - that one isn’t! I’ve
scanned the adverts for the planet’s news. I sent reports. I haven’t
recently because there’s little to say. I didn’t see the point.
Yet they sent you. Why didn’t they call me first rather than assume
I was up to no good?’
‘You have a record as long as my fangs for upping and going before
the bosses say so. As I said…’
‘Loads of Memory Adjusted Recruitment Creatures run late with paperwork.
I’ve never heard of enforcers being sent after them. Why me? And
choose a better covering. Barbara spotted you last night.’
The green blob looked impressed. ‘Really? You did choose a good
specimen.’
‘Leave her alone, she’s mine.’
‘You know the rules. The moment our selections can spot extra terrestrial
life, we absorb them. Start the procedure. Don’t try to outwit us.
We will find you.’
***
Marc walked glumly home. He’d known the day for choosing between
his old world and new one would come. Instructions were given via The
Times personal column and he carried them out, as diligently as ever.
But now this… They owe me something. I killed for them, I lied for
them, hell I died for them a few times too. Regeneration hurts. Why must
I lose the one thing to turn out well for me? The one thing that distinguishes
me from every other bloody alien they send here?
Turning into his cul-de-sac and spotting Barbara waving through the bay
window, he made himself wave back. Being absorbed was painful. There were
brain adjustments for a start. Had they wanted Grace, Marc would have
rushed her through but Barbara, no. Marc had lost count of the species
he’d helped on their way to losing their identity. He remembered
the screams… Barbara would not go through that. If this wasn’t
a time to use his more questionable skills to help rather than abuse,
Marc didn’t know what was, but how? Seeing one’s smiling beloved
holding the door open sank his morale. He couldn’t explain this.
Barbara would only see his deceit.
***
‘I’m off to get more tea, Marc,’ Barbara, wandering
into the bathroom, smiled at her handsome husband as he soaked in gallons
of Radox. ‘Mother always clears us out, regardless of how much tea
we’ve got.’
‘I’ll go later. I want the evening edition of The Echo.’
‘I’ll go. You mustn’t run around all the time. Keep
your strength up for other things.’ Barbara grinned as Marc gathered
up bubbles and blew them at her. To his surprise, she held up her hand,
the bubbles halted in mid-air and turned back and hit him in the face.
‘See you later.’
Marc frowned. Stopping things mid-air signalled something. His pre-assignment
lecture had mentioned it. What was it now?
***
Barbara went to the bus stop. There was no sign of Marc at the windows
but in front of her was what she sought. She glared at it.
‘I can see you.’
‘I know, Mrs Wilson,’ the green blob bowed.
Barbara was thrown when its second head wobbled like a drunk blancmange.
She shook herself. Now was not the time to lose her nerve. ‘Why
are you here? What did you tell Marc? He looks as if the world’s
about to end when he thinks I’m not looking…’
The green blob looked impressed. ‘I see why he fell for you. Intelligence
and sex combined. I note you don’t ask what I am. I wonder why.’
‘You’re an enforcer and ensure deployed aliens behave on other
planets.’
The green blob stared. ‘Is there something you’ve not told
me, Mrs Wilson? Marc too, come to that?’
‘Yes, a lot actually, but all I want from you is to leave him alone.
It is me you want?’
***
‘What have you done with her?’ Marc shook the green blob.
The blob was impressed that Marc had realised Barbara had gone within
ten minutes of her “calling”. It usually took four hours plus.
The bosses were thorough. ‘I did nothing. She visited me last night.’
Marc looked sceptical as he dropped the blob. ‘Course she did.’
‘Ask Mr Johnson. He sees everything here.’
‘How come he hasn’t been called up then?’
‘He’s too old. He’d never survive the process. We like
live selections.’
‘Where have they sent Barbara?’
The blob looked at its clawed feet.
Marc felt his blood get cold. It wasn’t pleasant. It took fifteen
minutes to raise it to the proper temperature again. ‘She’s
back on Anarect?’
‘Headquarters too. She didn’t suffer. We can be kind to our
specimens.’
Marc snarled. ‘You’ve never heard the screams.’
‘I’m told Barbara didn’t scream. She was calm, as if
expecting it.’
‘Yeah, right, course she would. One moment you’re an earth
housewife, course you’ll expect to be beamed up somewhere unpleasant.’
‘You would if you weren’t all you appeared to be.’
‘There’s nothing fake about Barbara and…’
‘She’s one of us, Marc. I didn’t know until she showed
her true form last night.’ The blob grinned. ‘She has a decent
figure under that skin. Lovely fangs too. Far better than mine.’
The blob frowned. Marc’s scowl usually meant someone got hurt. The
blob coughed. ‘The bosses said she didn’t file her reports.
She said someone kept hogging the papers so she couldn’t follow
events at home. Know about that?’
The blob wasn’t surprised at Marc’s silence.
Finally Marc coughed. ‘If what you’re saying is true, why
was she here? Why send me to join her?’
‘You were supposed to make her file her reports but you….’
Marc grinned. ‘We enjoyed life, sex and chocolate on earth. I’ll
join Barbara. We’ll resume our way of life on Anarect!’
‘As you wish,’ and the blob thrust his second head at Marc,
so it touched the man’s elbow, making Marc vanish.
The blob sighed. A cough made him start. He turned to see Mr Johnson.
‘I said the newspaper idea was bad,’ the old man said. ‘Get
engrossed in them, you get engrossed in life here. When will you lot fix
that bus stop? It was smashed five years ago. Marc’s a rotten flyer.
If you can make a being vanish to another world and dimension, fixing
the glass shouldn’t be beyond you. Or are you as incompetent as
our local Councils?’ |
